Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
