Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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