first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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