we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
