I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
