I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
