Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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