you would pick up someone in the library
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
