mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
