it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
