The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
