i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Randomize
