somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
