dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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