We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
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