3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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