I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
