Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
