I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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