who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize