I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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