i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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