so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
