I am in a vortex of obligation.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
