My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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