We're facebook friends in real life
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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