he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
