guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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