Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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