I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
