fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
