I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
