just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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