Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
