i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
