I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
