we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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