sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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