i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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