I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
