I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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