I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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