May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
two words...techno handjob
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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