And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
