these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
