why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
