Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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