He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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