My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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