ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
