I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
