Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She said her name was "party"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
