You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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