I'm so fucking centered right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize