he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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