I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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