Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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