dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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