I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
