It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize