Need sex. Gaining weight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
